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李師母陶愛文的宣教之路與屬靈爭戰秘訣

圖：李道基牧師與李師母陶愛文兩人，2016年在美國西雅圖的基督教研討會上擔任講員時留影。（圖片由陶愛文提供）

陳曼玲（明尼蘇達州伯利恆浸信會兒童主日學小組長）

英國傳教士戴德生（Hudson Taylor）在1865年創立的中國內地會，1965年被改名為海外基督使團（OMF）。美國出生的李道基牧師（Doug Vavrosky）與李師母陶愛文（Avril Vavrosky）是此組織差派的宣教士，他們在1981年到台灣宣教有12年之久，專注於華人事工迄今有36年。此篇採訪敘述上帝如何預備李師母成為宣教士，並裝備她成為屬靈爭戰的精兵，祝福許多信徒脫離黑暗，靈命大得復興。

李師母出生於南非，父母均為基督徒。她八歲決志信主後，當她在祖母一旁時，為人算命的祖母就算不出別人的命，只好叫她走開。但她的父親經常對祖母傳講真理，祖母後來也信主。李師母曾向母親描述她印象中一個中國人開在街角的雜貨店裡，有糖果罐等擺設，母親驚訝地說那時的她不到一歲，怎會記得這麼清楚。這個雜貨店老闆知道她的父親失去工作，多次讓母親賒帳買食物。這個中國人救了李師母一家的善行，似乎悄悄地在她心中埋下一顆種子，使她將來立志要救華人的靈魂。

李師母十五歲受洗後，告訴母親她想要成為宣教士，但被母親斥為抬高自己，因為在當時的社會，宣教士被視為僅次於牧師、醫生、律師的菁英職業。父母分別希望李師母從事模特兒、老師的工作，一個富有的親戚希望李師母繼承他龐大的財產。但李師母知道這些都不是神的心意，因此她把心願跟教會牧師（Dr. Arnot）說。牧師夫婦開始輔導她，每週二禁食為她禱告，並給她有關宣教士事蹟的書籍，尤其是關於牧師的父親與大衛‧李文斯頓（David Livingstone）一同在非洲服事的故事。

李師母高中畢業後，牧師建議她先去讀護理系做宣教準備。她在護理學校時，被分發到精神病院實習。她極羨慕其他到孤兒院照顧小孩的同學，心想或許老師不喜歡她，所以把她派到那裡。然而這卻是上帝裝備李師母，日後從事精神與心理諮商的訓練。護理學校最後一年時，李師母參加在南非伊莉莎白港城市的基督徒護士團契。有一天在那裡遇見一個男士，播放影片述說一個中國家庭信主與遭受迫害的見證，李師母跟他買了兩本OMF出版的書籍，心中燃起對中國人宣教的負擔，還禱告願意為神而死。

護理學校畢業後，李師母申請到約翰尼斯堡的希伯崙神學院就讀（Hebron Theological College），並找著OMF的主任，說她曾在伊莉莎白港城市聽到有關OMF的事工。但主任說他們不曾派人到那城市去。主任在聽了李師母的見證後，相信這是神開路，開始差人去那裡宣教。她讀神學院時對聖靈有更多認識，禱告上帝以聖靈充滿她。之後她發現自己對神、神的話語和人們充滿更多的愛。

李師母到台灣宣教之前，對邪靈瞭解不多。直到在台灣的一位美國宣教姊妹，在異象中得知她的名字，到處問人是否認識她。當這個美國宣教士找到李師母後，她要李師母為她趕鬼，釋放她得自由。李師母不清楚怎麼做，但她想起聖經中主耶穌所做的，因此她斥責在那姊妹身上的邪靈退去，那姊妹立時說她得了釋放。之後上帝開始把人帶來給李師母做諮商與禱告。由於有護理背景與聖靈的恩賜，李師母在靈裡可以清楚分辨精神病與被鬼附的不同。

有一次在土城鄉下，她看到一個乩童被請到一個家庭中做法，她靈裡為那些被魔鬼轄制的人們感到憂傷。她求問上帝後，在稍遠處小聲地綑綁那個乩童身上的魔鬼，當下乩童的法力消失，匆匆收拾道具逃離現場。李師母在台灣時，覺得拜偶像的黑暗勢力頗為壓抑沈重。當她坐飛機離開台灣時，肩上的重擔明顯消失。1993年因為孩子面臨醫療的需要，夫妻與三個兒子告別已落地生根的台灣，受OMF差派到明尼蘇達州繼續華人事工。李師母開始以新眼光讀聖經，發現舊約描述的正是當今偶像膜拜的狀況。

就像大衛當年面對歌利亞，李師母說我們如今面對的是撒旦和牠的魔鬼爪牙。有時我們被問題壓倒，就像掃羅和他的軍隊，開始對神失去信任，眼目離開了神，去看歌利亞和他們的環境。李師母教導信徒把歌利亞帶到基督面前，自己順服在神的主權之下，問神這遭遇是從神來的，還是從魔鬼來的。然後求神給你策略，來征服這些問題。當你照著祂的旨意禱告時，你的禱告將蒙應允。要記住神給以色列人和我們一樣的承諾：「不要因這大軍恐懼驚惶，因為勝敗不在乎你們，乃在乎神」。（歷代志下第20章15節）

李師母曾為一位日本牧師娘的兒子禱告，八年來不見這兒子悔改。李師母有一天在禱告中向神詢問原因與策略，知道了就求神饒恕這兒子與傷害他的人，並禱告有基督徒來輔導他。三個月後，這兒子在工作的地方認識一位愛主的弟兄，重新回到神面前。

李師母強調要打贏屬靈爭戰，熟悉聖經真理很重要，因為神的話是聖靈的寶劍（以弗所書第六章17節）。有次她的背受傷，仇敵透過醫生告訴她永遠不能再坐飛機，但是她拒絕醫生給的壞結果，她戰勝仇敵，神醫治了她。

李師母的事工有三方面：忠心傳講神的話語、醫治人的疾病與趕除魔鬼。她在明尼蘇達州的燈塔釋放事工（Lighthouse deliverance ministry），為人禱告斷開罪惡與黑暗轄制。她對家暴婦女的事工是教導人以神的話語更新他們的心思（mind）與意志（will）（參考羅馬書12章），靠神的愛選擇去原諒施暴者，並且學習大衛全心讚美神（參考詩篇第九篇），來與神建立親密的關係。

李師母的宣教之路與生命中眾多的爭戰禱告見證，全靠上帝大能的帶領。李師母得勝的秘訣，就是經常被聖靈充滿來持守神最大的誡命：盡心、盡性、盡力、盡意來愛主（馬可福音第12章30節）。

 

家有自閉兒 舞者莊雅智書發心路歷程

圖：明州的舞蹈家莊雅智與自閉兒Ryan。（圖片由莊雅智提供）

記者陳曼玲╱明尼蘇達州報導

來自台灣，定居於明州的舞蹈家莊雅智，最近透過台灣宇宙光出版新書「開啟自閉兒的世界，星媽的陪伴歷程」，敘述自己如何靠基督教信仰走出人生陰霾，並且在書中分享教養自閉兒的心得，希望給家中有特殊兒女的父母作為參考與鼓勵。

莊雅智5歲習舞，畢業於香港演藝學院中國舞系，於1995年到紐約進修，她年輕時的夢想是站上世界的舞台，並把東方舞蹈的美介紹到西方來。她的才華被紐約大衛帕森斯現代舞團看中，遴選她在在千禧年時站上紐約時代廣場獨舞演出。夢想成真、集眾人羨慕眼光於一身的莊雅智，在2007年確知自己兩歲的兒子被診斷為自閉症時，人生跌入谷底。莊雅智說，她的驕傲使她難以面對別人對自閉兒異樣的眼光，所以試圖隱藏兒子的問題，不願意尋求幫助。但一位跟莊雅智習舞的學生的家長邀請莊雅智到教會小組，她感受到教會朋友的愛心關懷，漸漸認識上帝並學習為兒子禱告。

莊雅智說她鼓勵並訓練孩子做到一般孩子能做的事，像是自己穿衣服。她與學校老師、社工密切配合，使孩子在學校與家裡有一致的教導。她說自閉兒學習情緒管理很重要，以喜怒哀樂分明的表情、聲調來給予孩子清楚的指示。她也調整自己心態，不因孩子哭鬧而有所讓步，以免孩子混淆對與錯，失去學習自制的能力。另外莊雅智發現自閉兒雖不善於溝通，但仍會惦記大人的承諾，所以要讓孩子確知父母明白他的需求，才能給予孩子安心感。

莊雅智鼓勵父母尋求幫助，像是找「個案管理師」（case manager），幫助父母有效率申請補助，並搜尋適合孩子參加的活動或課程。莊雅智說她曾憂心孩子的未來，但信主之後，她學會把一切憂慮交托給上帝。她說現在她對上帝的愛已超過教養孩子的困難。莊雅智說，當六年級的兒子在學習上有一點點進步，常常向她撒嬌並擁抱她時，都使她心裡充滿被鼓勵的快樂。

莊雅智在2010年受洗成為基督徒後，心中有感動要把為孩子禱告與見證寫下。2014年應宇宙光出版社增寫更多內容出版成書。當她完成此書時，心中興起幫助台灣自閉兒的想法。之後她看到導演朋友拍攝花蓮門諾黎明教養院的黎明向陽園的影片時，她決定捐出此書的版稅來幫助此中心籌建自閉症友善社區。在美國購買「開啟自閉兒的世界，星媽的陪伴歷程」一書可上證主書店http://bookshop.cc-us.org/，或使者書房http://afcresources.org/contents/zh-tw/d274.html。

雲霄飛車卡空中 雲梯車救客

圖：在明州美國購物廣場（Mall of America）的遊樂中心中裡一項名為「百事橘光」（Pepsi Orange Streak）的驚險遊樂設施，啟動後突然停在半空中，園方立即出動數名警衛與工作人員，用雲梯車將乘客一個個救出。（陳曼玲攝影）

記者陳曼玲╱明尼蘇達州報導

日前在明州美國購物廣場（Mall of America）的遊樂中心中裡一項名為「百事橘光」（Pepsi Orange Streak）的驚險遊樂設施，載有約三十多人的小型雲霄飛車，啟動後突然停止在半空中，園方立即出動數名警衛與工作人員，用雲梯車將乘客一個個救出。

有個父親帶著一名約五歲的小女孩，小女孩下來後不哭不鬧，但臉上沒有任何表情，似乎是嚇呆了。最後被救下來的兩個女孩，一個在明州念中學六年級，另一個是從俄亥俄州來玩的表妹，他們說感受到雲霄飛車突然不動，車體並在軌道上前後晃動一下後停止。兩人剛開始很害怕，但在等待救援時就慢慢鎮定下來。其中一個女孩用手錶估算卡在空中的時間，整整有41分鐘。事件發生後，園方發給每個乘客一張沒有期限的全天候遊園券，價值約35美元。這兩個女孩說以後還是會再回來玩這些遊樂設施。

在2014年，此遊樂中心的另一項名為「原子撞擊」（Jimmy Neutron Atomic Collider）的遊樂設施，也發生過停在半空中25分鐘的意外。當時有三名技師將車體降到安全高度，並用工具打開把乘客固定在座位上的橫桿。

到底這些室內與戶外的遊樂設施安不安全呢？根據今日美國網站（USA Today）說，自從1978年開始，美國測試與材料團體（American Society for Testing and Materials, 簡稱ASTM）已對各遊樂園發表全國標準，從設施檢驗、維護時間表、設施的設計限制、到乘客身高要求等項目都有嚴格的規定。網站並引用全國遊樂園協會（International Association of Amusement Parks and Attractions, 簡稱IAAPA）的報告說明，在2008年乘坐遊樂設施的17億人次中，曾發生1,343次的受傷事件，當中有80個人需要住院。因此遊樂園設施一般說來是相當安全，但該網站仍建議以下情況發生時，要避免乘坐遊樂設施：機器本身看起來不穩固，或坐在座位上感覺機體鬆動。發現操作設施的人員漫不經心。另外，有些驚險設施可能造成心臟、頸部、背部等傷害，所以身體如有不適，則避免乘坐。在設施座位上要注意自身安全，頭手不要伸出設施外面。長頭髮的人最好把頭髮綁好。並且要遵守設施規定乘客的高度與重量的限制。

The Victory and Hope of a Life Reborn

The arrival of spring is heartily welcomed in Minnesota where winter lingers for almost a half-year. The two-parted whistles from male Northern Cardinals is often heard in the early spring. While lifting my head up to search for the birds, I cheerfully found little buds springing from the tip of the branches. I think our spiritual life is very similar: Only through experiencing the coldness of death, can we start to cherish the joy of resurrection.

While Christians praise God for choosing us to receive the grace of salvation, we not only acknowledge our release over the bondage of our sins and evil through Jesus Christ, but also realize that our new life has been undergoing the inception of the eternal life with glorious victory. When I read about Lazarus who was dead and rotting in the grave for four days, I cannot help but relate Lazarus to myself who was dead spiritually and brought back to life by Jesus. Therefore, I compare the stages of resurrection of Lazarus and my spiritual life in the following.

The stages of resurrection of Lazarus (John 11:43-44)

  1. Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!”
  2. The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.
  3. Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

The stages of resurrection of my spiritual life

  1. I was dead in my sins so that I could not see and know God. But through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, my spirit came back to life so that I can respond to Jesus Christ’s effectual calling. As a result, I confessed and repented my sins to God and “He forgave all my sins” (Colossians 2:13).
  2. God made me alive with Christ who was risen from the death.
  3. While I was cleansed by Jesus Christ’s blood, God canceled the written code that was against me and took it away, nailing it to the cross. My debt of sins is totally paid, once for all.
    The climax of the resurrection of Lazarus is that people helped take off the strips of linen covering his body and face. Likewise, God cut off the spiritual handcuffs and shackles from our sins and Satan so that we can be “rescued from the dominion of darkness and brought into the kingdom of the Christ” (Colossians 1:13). Since then, we were reconciled with God through believing Jesus Christ and “become holy, without blemish and free from accusation” (Colossians 1:22).

A truly reborn Christian wants to obey God’s commands out of love. Our spiritual life grows as we read the Bible and pray in the spirit. Gradually, we understand God’s wills that have been clearly written in the Bible and also learn from Jesus, our best role model who completely obeyed the Father without holding His own schedule or item list.

Why is the name of Jesus Christ powerful to save sinners and beat the evil? It’s because He humbled Himself and became obedient to death, even death on a cross.

“Therefore, God exalted Him to the highest place and gave Him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth” (Philippians 2:6-11).

By faith, Christians receive the precious name of Jesus Christ, as a police officer is granted a badge. We are given the authority to trample on evils and to overcome all the power of the spiritual enemy.

The heart of humility and gratitude makes you see yourself as a forgiven sinner in front of God. You admit that you may stumble in ignorant imperfection in this life. However, you shall not stay in the guilt; instead, you come to God and confess your sins when God convicts you, as you believe that “if you confess your sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive you your sins and purify you from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

However, when you encounter Satan in spiritual warfare, he will try to deceive you that you cannot avoid sinning against God because of your sinful flesh. As a result, Satan either tempts you to find an excuse for your sins or to feel depressed and helpless to overcome sins. At this very moment, you need to proclaim your status as a saint: Through the blood of Jesus Christ, you have been given the divine nature and can escape the corruption of flesh.

Therefore, you have the freedom to not go on sinning and you will not sin with deliberate intention because you are born of God with His divine nature. Through continually practicing to “Submit to God and resist the devil” (James 4:7), the muscle of your faith will be strengthened. You can gain the victory over sins because “He has brought you out into the light” (Micah 7:9), “you are more than conquerors through Him” (Romans 8:37).

Now, because you clearly declare that your identity is God’s child, with the Truth, you can expose the devil’s lies and resist his temptation. You will notice that the sound of accusation or your guilt disappear while the devil flees from you. However, Jesus said: “Do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven” (Luke 10:20). When Jesus comes back, you will receive His praise, glory and honor (1 Peter 1:7).

Have you joyfully received Jesus as your Savior and the Lord so that you can grow mature spiritually and gain the assurance of salvation and the hope of everlasting glory? How do you see yourself today in light of your salvation through Jesus?

Fountain of Life

I dedicate one noon of the week to fast and pray for myself and other people. One day while I kept my promise to fast and pray with a healthy fear to God, I was led by the Holy Spirit while reading the Bible and sensed several polluted, ignorant sins in my heart. I confessed to God and amazingly felt more craving for His pure spiritual milk (1 Peter 2:2) instead of food, even though my stomach growled.

A while later, I found myself being inspired by C.H. Spurgeon’s poem in a fortuitous reading. As a result, my gratitude to God’s cleaning water gushed out to the following praise:

My soul as a fountain, connected with heavenly head water.

No draining, but a spring of the Lord, sustained by Grace, purified by trials, abided by Love, guarded by divine power.

My soul thus favored is flowing with His sweet and living water to the spiritually thirsty peoples and unto the eternal glory of God’s kingdom.

The Bible says: “The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life. That one may avoid the snares of death”. (Proverbs 14:27).

Let us give the Lord our reverence with love. Then, the fountain of life will overflow from within, to nourish us and others.

How do you nourish your spiritual self? What spiritual practices deepen your walk with Christ?

復活生命的得勝與盼望

 

在冰凍將近半年的北國，迎來春天是件大事。人們最常聽到的是那全身火紅、頭上頂著如龐克一撮黑毛的紅衣主教鳥（卡通憤怒鳥）的啼叫；一邊仰頭尋找牠的蹤跡，同時驚喜瞥見那熬過寒冬的樹梢也冒出了新芽。蟄伏度過漫長冬天的人們，此時被溫暖的陽光吸引到戶外悠閒踱步，心情愉悅地跟陌生人微笑打招呼，共享大自然新生的喜悅。

我幫女兒用羊毛撚的毛線打了一條圍巾，女兒說她非常喜歡。當冬天全身冷得顫抖的時候，這條圍巾讓她覺得特別溫暖。人生也是如此：唯有歷經死亡的冰冷，才能珍惜復活的歡欣。然而當基督徒頌讚神揀選我們，使我們復活得救的恩典時（參考彼得前書第一章2節），我們不單要看到自己已脫離罪惡轄制，還要經歷那開始啟動的新生命，已進到永生的得勝榮耀裡（參考約翰福音第十七章3節）。

今年我在「聖經研習團契」（Bible Study Fellowship）查考約翰福音，讀到那個死了四天、在墳墓裡發臭的拉撒路復活了（參考約翰福音第十一章43-44節），想到自己不也是另一個拉撒路嗎？因此我把拉撒路的復活與屬靈的重生對照如下：

拉撒路復活的經過：（一）耶穌在墳墓外大聲呼叫說：「拉撒路出來！」（二）那死人就出來了，手腳裹著布，臉上包著手巾。（三）耶穌對他們說：「解開，叫他走！」

基督徒屬靈的重生經歷：（一）我從前因罪而靈命死了（所以看不見、聽不到神），但藉著聖靈的工作，我的靈活了過來，因此我能回應耶穌基督的呼召，來向父神承認所有我犯過的罪（參考約翰福音第六章44節，彼得前書第一章2節）。神就赦免了我一切的過犯（參考歌羅西書第二章13節）。（二）神便叫我與已升天復活的基督一同活過來（參考歌羅西書第二章13節）。（三）因主耶穌的寶血潔淨我（參考彼得前書第一章2節），神塗抹撒旦藉律法控告我是罪人的字據，把它撤去、釘在十字架上，把我的罪債一筆勾銷（參考歌羅西書第二章14節）。

最精彩的時刻是旁人幫拉撒路脫去身上、臉上的裹屍布，拉撒路出死入生；屬靈上，神也幫我們斷開從罪惡與撒旦來的手鐐腳銬，使我們脫離黑暗權勢，把我們遷到神愛子的國度裡（參考歌羅西書第一章13節）。從此我們得以與神和好，因信靠主耶穌都成了聖潔、沒有瑕疵、無可責備的聖徒（參考歌羅西書第一章22節）。

重生的基督徒會因愛神而想要遵守祂的旨意。當我們在靈裡禱告勤讀聖經時，我們因吃靈糧，靈命得以成長，能明白神的旨意已清楚寫在聖經裡，並且看到主耶穌是我們最好的榜樣：完全順服父神，沒有自訂的時間表或事項清單（參考約翰福音第六38節）。

可曾想過為什麼復活的主耶穌能救罪人，祂的名大有能力嗎？因為祂順服天父，以至於死，且死在羞辱人的十字架上，所以神將祂升為至高，賜祂超乎萬名之上的名，使一切天上的天使、地上的君王與受造物、地底下的死者與魔鬼，都要對主耶穌的名屈膝（參考腓立比書第二章6-11節）。基督徒因信，得了主耶穌這個寶貴的名，好像警察被授與警徽，使我們可以靠主踐踏蛇和蠍子（指的是魔鬼惡者），又勝過仇敵一切的能力（參考路加福音第十章19節）。

你因感謝神看自己是蒙恩的罪人，這是向神謙卑，因為你承認你可能會因不完美、軟弱無知而不小心犯罪；但你不會停留在罪惡感中，而能在知罪的第一時間裡，到神面前認罪改過，因你相信：只要你認罪悔改，信實公義的神必要赦免你的罪，洗淨你一切的不義（參考約翰一書第一章9節）。但在屬靈爭戰時，魔鬼會欺騙你，讓你以為自己因天性敗壞而仍會犯罪，所以情有可原，或是叫你消沈喪志。這時你要宣告你聖徒的地位：因主耶穌基督的寶血，你已脫去肉體的敗壞，得著屬天的性情（divine nature，參考彼得後書第一章4節）：因此你有自由不犯罪，你也不會故意去犯罪，因為你是從神生的，就有神的性情（參考約翰一書第三章9節）。你一次又一次操練「向神認罪、抵擋惡者」，信心的肌肉就愈增強。因祂已領你到光明中（彌迦書第七章9節），你能在一切事上靠主得勝（參考羅馬書第八章37節）。

至此，我們因清楚宣告自己屬神兒女的身份，就能靠真理抵擋與拆穿魔鬼的謊言（參考雅各書第四章7節，以弗所書第六章17節），你會發現魔鬼逃跑，控告的聲音或罪惡感消失了。但耶穌說：「不要因鬼服了你們歡喜，而要因你們的名記錄在天上歡喜」（參考路加福音第十章20節）。當耶穌再來時，我們就要得著稱讚、榮耀和尊貴（彼得前書第一章7節）。願神祝福每一位清楚認識主耶穌的聖徒，隨著靈命成熟長進，心中得著救恩的確據，與存到永恆的榮耀盼望。

高虹「中式英文」獨奏會 細述45年琵琶行

圖：高虹的琵琶音樂創作首演：「中式英文」（Chinglish）音樂會。（陳曼玲攝影）

記者陳曼玲╱明尼蘇達州報導

明州知名琵琶音樂家高虹，今年初應邀到標的中心（Target Center），在明尼蘇達灰狼（Timberwolves）的本地職籃賽開幕時，以琵琶獨奏美國國歌。日前她在聖凱瑟琳大學（St. Catherine University）音樂廳，舉辦一場名為「中式英文」（Chinglish）的琵琶獨奏音樂會。高虹的音樂創作包括預先錄製琵琶音樂為背景、加上現場獨奏，並配合影片與旁白，細述她45年來的琵琶演奏生涯與23年在美國的生活點滴。

有別於華裔百老匯劇作家黃哲倫，從觀察中國人錯用英文而寫的「中式英文」歌劇，高虹的「中式英文」則是調侃自己因不懂英文，在異國婚姻與美國生活中所鬧的笑話。高虹說希望藉由分享她的真實故事，鼓勵有類似經驗的華人移民，在異鄉努力不懈。

高虹26歲時在中國初識一位美國作曲家保羅，兩人並沒有立即迸出愛的火花。但之後一年雙方用母語寫信與傳真聯繫，也透過翻譯人員用電話溝通。高虹回憶說，當翻譯者不在時，兩人在電話中只能發出嘆息或是傻笑聲，結果是電話月費高達上千美元。1992年當高虹到日本巡迴演出，並在東京研究中國琵琶比較學時，保羅到日本探望高虹。高虹在機場苦等了四小時才發現跑錯機場。及時趕到另一個機場後，高虹擔心認不出僅有一面之緣的保羅，但擦身而過的兩人仍認出了彼此。這一次他們沒有任何言語，但互相擁抱良久，高虹說那一刻有如天堂般的永恆。保羅也在當天用中文向高虹求婚，高虹聽了幾次才明白他的意思。1994年嫁到美國來的高虹說，他們的婚姻在前12年中摸索溝通的方式，也培養出兩人才懂的獨特語彙；之後的11年以來則開始學習約會。

高虹除了說英文時把高麗菜（cabbage）說成垃圾（garbage），把克利夫城（Cleveland）說成乳溝（cleavage）等，她在明州的開車經驗也是糗事連篇。她曾因開車迷路而從市區開到數小時之外的得路斯市（Duluth）、在高速公路車速過慢、晚上忘了開車燈、甚至開到對方車道等，高虹說她卻一張罰單都沒拿過，不禁讚嘆明州的交通警察實在善良。高虹在影片結束時，豪氣地背起她的琵琶，旁白說她不開車，就徒步在公路上浪跡天涯。

高虹除了巡迴美國與世界各地演奏之外，也藉由琵琶彈奏示範，在大學、中小學裡熱心推廣中樂與中國文化。她自2001年起任教於明州卡爾頓學院（Carleton College）的中國音樂課程，並且擔任該校中樂團的音樂總監至今。

Could You Be Saved But Not a Free Christian?

Are you the person who goes on the bus with a seat and still carries your heavy, bulky backpack on your back, even when the driver kindly reminds you to put it down because it will be a long way to the next stop?

This analogy completely reflects my spiritual life. I was saved as a God’s child (meaning I was on the bus), but I was not free (meaning I still carried my backpack). Even worse, I was miserable because I could not fulfill most of the commandments in the Bible with a genuine heart.

I did want to be a good Christian but I found that I often heard voices like “you just fake to be loving because you still have jealousy in your heart,” or, “it’s impossible for you to be totally selfless because the Chinese saying says, ‘the heaven and earth would be destroyed if a human was not selfish’ ”.

Besides believing the condemning voices, I suffered with depression, self-rejection, low self-esteem, anxiety, control, an angry temper, suicidal temptation, etc. At that time, I did not fully understand the solid Bible truth for transforming my mind. I practiced and knew little about how fortune-telling and astrology are connected with evil and detested by God (refer to 2 Chronicles 33:6). And the human-centered world view plus my own unconfessed sins from my lineage and my heart still haunted me.

When I was in early elementary school, I had never heard about baptism in Christianity. But I sometimes immersed myself in the bathtub that my mom stored water in for cleaning. I wished I could wash away my wickedness after coming out of the water. There’s a temple for worshipping Guan-Gong (ancient Chinese general) near my house. I often went there to play in the big front yard and also accompanied adults to go inside to worship many different idols. The strong smoke of incense and the pictures about hell in the books were the vivid memory about the temple. In my young mind, I remember I often asked myself that if I only worship this god, would I offend the other gods?

When I was 18, in the college, I heard about God’s creation for the first time from the pastor who came to the campus to preach the gospel. I immediately accepted the idea that humans are God’s creation because it solved my long-time puzzle about the theory of evolutionary which I was taught in high school biology class. After a few months, I was urged by a local house church to be baptized so that I can be saved from the world. Afterwards, I walked my Christian life in the dim light for almost 20 years until I got an opportunity to translate an English speech to Chinese.

This speech was about how to tell the difference between mental illness and demonization. The speaker was a pastor’s wife and a nurse. I read through her article and asked her if she could pray for me because my situation fitted the demonization as what she described from her experiences in the deliverance ministry. During the consoling time, she gave me a list helping me to identify the sins I committed in the past. It seemed that the light of Holy Spirit shone through my heart and I was reminded of a long list of sins from myself, my family and the sins against me from the religious cult I joined ignorantly as a child, from the curses someone spoke to me, from the sexual harassment by other adults and from the possible sins in my lineage (ancestors).

Nothing dramatic happened during the prayer time. The pastor’s wife told me that I may stop being afraid of something after the deliverance prayer. Then I noticed I did not fear the bitter coldness of the winter in Minnesota for the first time after I moved here for nine years. My spiritual journey was like the blind man in Bethsaida who was brought to Jesus. Jesus spit on the man’s eyes and put his hands on him. The man saw people but they looked like trees walking around. Once more Jesus put his hands on the man’s eyes, then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored and he saw everything clearly (refer to Mark 8:22-24). After the deliverance prayer, my eyes are bright and I walk in the full light of God since then.

My story may not be the situation for some Christians who were healed by Jesus and got their eye sight right away like the blind man, Bartimaeus (refer to Mark 10:46-52). But one thing I am sure–God intends His children to be free and joyful in the faith, hope and love, because that’s what Jesus came to do:

“This is why the Son of God was revealed, to destroyed works of the devil” (1 John 3:8).

When I look back and wonder how I got here, I know that the long nights in the spiritual life were meant for me to finally surrender myself to God and ask Him to be my Lord, not just Savior in my life so that I can be filled with His Holy Spirit and gain the power with His authority to resist the devil. During the gloomy times, I call upon Him in the day of trouble and He delivers me and I shall glorify Him (refer to Psalms 50:15). I went through the bitterness of being a saved but not free Christian. Then God came through for me and I can savor the full sweetness of living in Jesus.

After I was set free in Jesus’ name, I noticed the gradual changes in my spiritual life:

I am hungry for the Bible’s truth and love to talk to God in prayer. (Psalms 42:1)

I can love God with all my heart after I pray to Him for giving me love. (Luke 10:27)

I make peace with myself and others. (Galatians 5:22)

I learn to discern with the help of Holy Spirit and discard the fault from the cultural/social influence and the lies coming into my thought. I am transformed by renewing my mind by practicing the truth. (Romans 12:2)

I am alert to take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. If what I hear does not align with the truth, I resist it right away. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

I learn to fight with Scripture in the spiritual warfare. (Ephesians 6:12)

I have the spirit of power, love and self-control to obey God’s commandments and live a holy life. (2 Timothy 1:7)

Corrie Ten Boom, the Dutch missionary and a survivor of a Nazi concentration camp said:

“Jesus was baptized in the Holy Spirit. Therefore, the fullness of the Holy Spirit is the birthright of every child of God. But we must make room for Him, even in the hidden corners deep in our hearts. Then we can count on Him who will accomplish His work through us”.

Every child of God ought to be a free and victorious Christian.

If Jesus sets you free, you are free indeed (refer to John 8:36) and you have the power to overcome sins and the freedom not to sin again.
​
You can learn more from the biblical teaching about the victorious Christian life from the free download documents on this ministry website.

https://www.lighthouseministryintl.org/resource-downloads/

Original posted on: http://www.tblfaithnews.com/faith-religion/could-you-be-saved-but-not-a-free-christian

Is God Silent During Suffering?

Recently my Japanese friend, a missionary in Japan, asked for prayer about her troubled feeling aroused by the movie, Silence, shot in Taiwan by Hollywood director, Martin Scorsese. According to Time Magazine, “Silence is a somber epic about Jesuit priests struggling to keep their faith in violently anti-Christian 17th century Japan”. (Note1)

My friend also posted an article written by a Japanese pastor, Marre Ishii. He was upset after watching a screening of this film. I learned from this article that the movie was adapted from the novel, by the same name, about Japanese history. According to Mr Ishii, the book author, Shusako Endo, ” … wrestled with Catholic faith but continued to be a Catholic out of respect for his mother”.

After reading through Ishii’s article (Note 2), I cannot help but point out three observations and hope to encourage my Christian fellows to discern Satan’s deception.

  • “Why was God silent in the midst of this tragedy in history?”Mr Ishii wrote that this is an universal question asked by all religions and races. He mentioned tragedies like the Holocaust, African slavery and the 9-11 terrorist attack. Nevertheless, I feel sad to say that not many people in the world know much about another tragedy: the Nanjing (Nanking) Massacre. This was an episode of mass murder and rape committed by Japanese troops against the residents of Nanjing in 1937.According to BBC Magazine, reported by Mariko Oi in 2013 (Note 3), the former history teacher and scholar, Tamaki Matsuoka, accuses the Japanese government of a deliberate silence about atrocities in the massacre. I do not mean to condemn the Japanese people. On the contrary, it’s urgent to recognize that the spiritual darkness over Japanese society is so heavy there has been an increase in suicide rates and many other emotional issues.“Japan has no history of Christianity so here suicide is not a sin,” says Wataru Nishida, a psychologist at Tokyo’s Temple University (Note 4). Therefore, I pray for my missionary friend whom God sent to “ … open their (Japanese people’s) eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in Jesus” (Acts 26:18).
  • Mr Ishii wrote that from his experience in Japan, and as a pastor, that this movie will portray a God of great love and compassion as indifferent to the suffering of his saints. Faith in Jesus and love for all saints springs from the hope that is heard from the word of truth (refer to Colossians 1:5). As Christians, we shall spread the gospel in a God-loving motivation, rather than the fear of not completing our obligation.When we are asked, “How is a loving God indifferent to the suffering of His saints?” we don’t need to fear people and sugarcoat the gospel of sins and forgiveness. Instead, we rely on the Holy Spirit to intelligently and graciously encourage people to find out what a faithful saint’s reaction would be during the suffering from the testimonies of those who endure hardship to the end in the whole wide world. This is what I observed from African and Chinese persecuted Christians who still spread God’s love and love their enemies.
  • Mr Ishii said he was aghast when he heard that an American pastor said hell is where a non-believer goes after death. Mr Ishii said, “This type of insensitivity has turned many Japanese people into adversaries of God.” I agree with Mr Ishii that only God truly knows if a person has a genuine faith to go to heaven. In Asia, many people believe in various religions and think that they don’t need Jesus in order to be saved because they worship gods and try to do good. On one hand, telling the truth could be seen as insensitive because it hurts people’s pride. On the other hand, it could also be sensitive to the real danger of one’s spiritual death.Pastor John Piper wrote in his book, Jesus, The Only Way To God: “The world will tell you that you are arrogant, not loving, if you spread the message of Jesus’s saving work as the only way to God. But God calls it love … Oh, how we need to let the Bible define what love does! … Apart from the work of the Holy Spirit, who works through the word of the gospel of Christ (1 Peter 1:23-25), there is no faith and no new birth and no salvation. This is why repentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in His name to all nations’ (Luke 24:47).” (Note 5)

I painfully remember that I did not tell my uncle, sick with cancer, about where he would go after death without believing in Jesus because I worried that he might feel scared. Shortly, he was sent home from the hospital without the hope of living. While he was still alive, his family dressed him with a funeral shroud to keep his muscles from getting too stiff to wear it after he died.

I was in grief to know that tears rolled down from his eyes while lying on the bed waiting for the unknown destiny. Sadly, I was not around and could not tell him to receive Jesus. Even today, I hope in the bottom of my heart that my uncle did listen to the gospel tape I left him and received Jesus as his Savior in his mind. Since then, I would rather risk being shamed or rejected by people than fail to tell them the gospel in love.

I believe God chose His anointed saints and will bring them back to one holy nation (Refer to 1 Peter 2:9). Therefore, my heavenly identity as a citizen of God’s kingdom is higher than my earthly identity as a citizen of the USA and Taiwan with Japanese blood.

God sent Ezekiel to open his mouth and say to people, “This is what the Sovereign LORD says, ‘Whoever will listen let him listen, and whoever will refuse let him refuse; for they are a rebellious house.’ “(Ezekiel 3:27)

It’s only God who can soften every sinner’s heart to listen. Meanwhile, we shall be like Ezekiel to “listen carefully and take to heart all the words God speaks to us,” (Ezekiel 3:10) as we share His truth in love. For only the truth shall set each of us free from the trap of sins and stronghold of evil darkness. (John 8:32)

Original posted on: http://www.tblfaithnews.com/faith-religion/is-god-silent-during-suffering

夢想路上—寫作讓我更認識神

 

我從小到大忙著讀書考試，沒有什麼特殊才藝，除了小時候看古裝武俠劇，想當俠女以外，不記得有過什麼特別的夢想。出國唸書算是完成一個階段性的夢想，但是實現了以後，就不再是夢想了。接下來要找個能學以致用的工作，才不愧當個「有理想、有抱負」的青年。我在美國當過電腦老師、商業分析師，仍然對朝九晚五的工作型態感到不滿足。但我的責任感告訴自己要惜福、不可以沒有定性，既然要賺錢貼補家用，找到工作就要認真去做。

直到幾年前我因工作家庭兩頭燒，讓家人陷入緊張的生活步調，和先生商量後，我辭職在家。這段時間我不需要帶小孩，每天只要煮飯打掃。剛開始我的「好學生」心態蠢蠢欲動，擔心這樣無所事事怎麼可以。然而上帝卻用這段時間，吸引我渴慕愛祂而大量閱讀聖經。在聖靈的光照下，我經歷到真理教我識破撒旦謊言，思想得以被更新變化得自由；聖靈也是我最好的個人家教，我一邊讀聖經一邊問上帝問題，然後勤做筆記把每次的感動寫下來。就這樣，我愈寫愈明白神的心意，我開始享受寫作，因為那是與神親密交通的時刻。

我在患難之日求告祂，祂搭救我，我也要榮耀祂（參考詩篇50篇15節），我憑著感恩的心，想對全世界訴說祂給我的愛與感動。因為寫作，我開始懂得欣賞別人的文章，那些透過個人獨特眼光對生命的觀察與詮釋，每篇都像是以特殊角度入鏡的攝影作品，讓人心中的眼睛為之一亮。每讀到一篇好文章，我便讚嘆神藉著按祂形象所造的各人，彰顯出祂創造萬有的豐富。

當神把寫作傳揚祂的心願放在我裡面，我按著祂的心意去禱告，祂就照著運行在我心裡的大力，充充足足地成就一切，超過我所求所想（參考以弗所書三章20節）。去年我的牧師要我在主日學裡邀請宣教士來跟小朋友短講。我聽到這些宣教士遠征非洲、亞洲的感人故事後，覺得想讓更多人知道，因此採訪宣教士們，寫了三篇英文報導分享給學生家長。今年初我覺得神說我有更重要的事要做，所以順服地戒掉了平日閒來無事喜歡看的日劇。不久之後，在教會認識一個美國姊妹，她也喜歡寫作，推薦我投稿給一個福音網站。這個網站的理念與我相同，都是希望藉由寫作傳福音。他們要我提供作品，因此去年寫的三篇宣教士故事剛好派上用場。在今年以前，我不敢想像自己可以用英文寫作，但神卻已經在為我鋪路。

當這篇文章寫到一半時，一個教會的老姊妹剛好打電話來。我們聊到寫作，我告訴她我想太多，寫得慢，有時還會受試探想放棄，去做更容易賺錢的事。但她提醒我不要看自己有沒有能力，不要擔心用字簡單；要從心裡寫，要讓神把祂的能力透過我流出。神真是知道我的軟弱，差祂的僕人來鼓勵我。因為有主相伴，寫作成了我一生努力追求卓越的夢想。寫作是上帝對我說話、與祂相親的獎賞，是祂賜給我傳福音的榮耀使命，也是我一生持續倚靠祂去多結果子的善工（參考腓立比書一章2節）。