Author: admin

Meditation on Ephesians 4:17-27

¹⁷ This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind,¹⁸ Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart:¹⁹ Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. ²⁰ But ye have not so learned Christ; ²¹ If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus: ²² That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;²³ And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; ²⁴ And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. ²⁵ Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. ²⁶ Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: ²⁷ Neither give place to the devil.

Don’t you have pride? How could you let other people disrespect you and treat you like this?

This sentence is often heard in the TV drama or even the society. But is that really a good thing to keep your anger or pride by revenging or hating?

This is a true story about a young boy who gave into his emotion of hatred to his father and fear of death. When the boy was 9 years old, one day he attended the funeral of a 22-month-old toddler was accidentally ran over by the baby’s father who backed up his truck from the garage. It’s been a while that this boy was under pressure from his father to be perfect in many ways. The hidden hatred under the tension with his father and the fear of death from this funeral resulted in a deceptive desire in the boy’s mind: “If I don’t eat, I will not grow. If I don’t grow up, I won’t die.” Since then, the boy refused to eat or drink for 8 months and lost his weight to the degree he was hospitalized.

The Bible said: “In your anger, do not sin.” (Ephesians 4:26) Anger is often an emotional response when a person is mistreated. This is a normal reaction from a human. However, when he/she willfully gives in to this emotion, his/her mindset starts to agree with the ignorant, heart-hardened pride which is from the corrupted old self. Without coming to God’s truth as light for protection, the inner sins are born from the tempted emotion to insist on the old self’s way, which brings forth the deceitful desire to justify our emotion to hate or fear, eventually indulging in himself/herself to the darkness of evil.

This boy started to demonstrate crazy behaviors like screaming while sleepwalking, eating disorder, depression, biting himself in anxiety and even hitting his beloved mom. He didn’t want to tell any doctors or counselors what was in his mind so no professionals could help him. In one case, his mom even needed to use duct tape to bind him to stop his frenzy outburst.

This situation continued for 3 years. During the struggle his Christian mom never ceased to pray. Through other Christians’ help, the boy started to reveal what was in his mind. Meanwhile, the boy mentioned that he saw dark devil was by his side. His Christian mom prayed to fight to the degree that the devil spoke to her in one situation:

“What authority did you have to cast me out?” the devil challenged her.

“By the authority of Jesus Christ’s name, I cast you out.” The mom replied with the bold faith given by God at that moment.

After that, the boy’s spiritual strength grew in the Lord. When the boy turned 12 years old, he wanted to go to a two-week mission trip to Texas with his church which have loving pastor and saints to encourage him all the time. The boy finally felt the love from God by giving him parents and family when he saw the homeless while staying in the organization of Salvation army. Now this boy grows to a young man and wants to give his life to serve the Lord.

The commands in the Bible are not religious rules, but meant to protect us from devil’s spiritual attack. Keep in mind: “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” (Ephesians 4:26). The devil eagerly devours our faith to the Lord. When you think you want to keep angry and revenge in your selfish way, you often are not getting what you want, but willfully agree with the lies of devil to indulge yourself in a sinkhole of darkness and despair. The only solution is to put off your old self and put on the new self by renewing your attitude of mind according to God’s truth and love through the faith to Jesus Christ.

The name of the Lord is a strong tower; The righteous runs into it and is safe. (Proverbs 18:10)

你是否聽過或想過這樣的話：

「我很樂意幫助別人的需要，但是我不想麻煩別人，因為我不想欠人情。」

「我很想請你幫忙，但是又怕太麻煩你，所以不敢問你。」

「我請他幫忙我的工作，可是他不願意，我覺得很受傷。」

「我不想幫他那個忙，因為那是他可以自己做的事，可是拒絕他讓我覺得愧疚，自己似乎沒有愛心。」

據我的觀察與體驗，這些心態跟缺乏自尊心或自尊心低落有關。由於我們的道德價值觀會左右我們的判斷，使我們常常忽略了不健康的心靈產生的問題。

自尊心低落的人，衍生出容易自卑沮喪，被壓迫也不願意反擊。俗稱自尊心強的人，其實不是堅強，而是自我意識太強，容易憤世嫉俗，自以為是。

自信與自尊不完全一樣。有自信的人，如果相信的是自己，他可能在人前頗為風光，但私底下可能自尊心低落，得藉各種方法縱欲麻痺自己。有人以為功成名就的人就有自信，但那不等於自尊心。也有人以為不分好壞，多多讚美鼓勵孩子，就能提高他們的自尊心，卻可能變成自大狂。

自尊心的定義，是尊重自己；廣義來說，是尊重一個人的價值。不尊重他人的人，也不會尊重自己。有自尊心的人，明白別人跟他一樣，都是一個寶貴的生命，沒有貴賤之分，所以他不會因外表、身份地位、社會價值觀去論斷別人。這帶來的效果是，他也能看自己所當看的，為自己設立合理的界線（boundary）。

如果你相信人是被造的，那麼來聽聽上帝，這個大設計師給人類的完美說明書–聖經，使你的思想被更新變化，你的心靈得以正常運作。

聖經說：「人是上帝大而可畏的創造」（參詩篇139:14），恢復自尊心的第一步，就是接受一個事實：人不是上帝，而是上帝充滿智慧與能力的被造。你有上帝的形象，靠著上帝給你的力量，你能愛上帝與愛人如己。當你看別人不順眼時，你會向上帝認罪，就是驕傲、自我中心的罪，並求上帝給你屬靈的眼光，看見別人的優點，使你能尊重自己，也尊重別人：你不強迫別人接受你的想法，也不會因別人對你的批評讚美使你的心情忽高忽低。

聖經說：「我不論斷自己，只有神能論斷我」（參哥林多前書4:4）。你承認自己是上帝所造的，也相信這個上帝有超越你所理解的智慧大能，那你又何德何能去論斷自己的好或壞呢？因此你下決心不論斷自己，也不論斷別人，因為只有公平看透人心的上帝，有正確的標準來衡量每個人的動機。不論斷人，不與人比較，是看重自己的開始。

聖經說：「靠著加力給我的主，我凡事都能做；離了主，我什麼都不能做」（參腓立比書4:13；約翰福音15:5）。真正的自信，不是來自個人能力或智慧，而是相信那位創造我，給我恩典力量的上帝，能給我力量完成任務。結果是我在人前不再害羞，因為害羞是自我中心，導致過份注意自己是否成功或失敗的外在表現，這跟個性內向、外向無關。

培養自尊心，從認識自己開始。

聖經說：「背起自己的十字架來跟隨主」（馬太福音16:24）。「個人要擔負自己的擔子」（加拉太書6:2）。這些經文提醒我們，個人有責任去做決定、取捨，使我們把眼前上帝量給我們的事情做好，不用好高騖遠，或埋怨沒有機會。

當我有重擔，我向主呼求，因為「主耶穌每日背負我們的重擔」（詩篇68:19），會適時差遣人來幫助我，使我心存感激與愛他的心，並受鼓勵去回饋給有同樣需要的人，而不會覺得虧欠別人而不敢承受。同樣的，對於別人的要求，我求主給我感動、力量與智慧，來謙卑做決定該不該幫忙，如何幫忙，而不要濫用同情去幫倒忙。精神科醫生林信男寫過一個故事：在澳洲的原住民，原本要走很遠的路去獵食，但政府出於補償心態，發給原住民津貼。當他去澳洲旅遊時，便看到這些原住民因為不需要再獵食而無所事事，終日坐在樹下喝酒。幫與不幫，如何幫忙，需要求上帝給予智慧。

神的國裡需要各樣不同才華的人，因此祂賦予你獨特的崗位，你不用跟別人比較，或只想做別人看為好的。當神賜下新心新靈，你的自尊心就被恢復與建立；接著你也願意尊主為大，讓神放在你裡面的聖靈完全掌管你（參以西結書36:26）–不憑己意，甘願讓神的心意成全–那麼神就為你量了界線，使你在裡面是平安穩妥的，你就不再擔心自己與別人的眼光，而單單渴慕神給你的屬天獎賞。