“Look beyond yourself.”
“Look at others except yourself.”
That’s what I was told and practiced constantly in a copy-cat way.
Many years passed, and I got lost in the intersection of choices for myself.
I was painfully forced to look inside of myself but found it’s empty.
I cried:
Who am I?
What do I like?
What am I good at?
What is holding me back?
My heart was depressed because I didn’t know.
Then, the journey of finding self began.
I was learning who I am from the Creator God’s view.
But I heard so many voices telling me all about other thoughts.
Some voices said I was a failure.
Another voice said I was not lovable.
I was beaten up by the bullies over and over without knowing how to fight back.
Years passed. A missionary lady came across the path of my journey.
I read what she wrote in her speech about mental illness and demonic influence.
It seemed like a light shining into my darkness.
I reached out to her and asked for help.
She prayed to Jesus Christ for breaking off the bondages from my past.
I was set free by the truth.
I learn that I have been created with uniqueness and value.
And I am lovable.
Then those deceiving voices left me.
The first time I experienced serenity in my innermost being.
As I recognized my dream since youth, I was led to learn Taekwondo to be strong both in body and mind at age 40.
It is also like the Spirit teaching me to fight against the lies with each punch of the truth.
Now I know how to fight against the condemning lies.
THE END